Why Kermit Would Play Swearengen in a Muppet Deadwood Movie

The Tusk

Via the insanely comprehensive Muppet Wiki. Via the insanely comprehensive Muppet Wiki.

Here’s an exercise: Recast the HBO series Deadwood with Muppets.

Top of the head, Kermit as Seth Bullock seems obvious. Miss Piggy as Alma. Fozzie as Sol, Gonzo as Farnum…maybe Rolf as Ellsworth? Big Bird as Calamity Jane? Why does mixing Sesame Street Muppets and regular Muppets make my skin crawl? Snuffalufagus or maybe Sweetums as Charlie Utter? Sweetums has got that kind of shaggy, fumbling charm…but Snuffalufagus and Charlie share a sweetness, like you want to take care of them even as they’re trying to take care of you.

For Al Swearengen, I initially thought Oscar the Grouch. But that’s not quite right. No, the only Muppet that could really capture Al Swearengen is Kermit the Frog.

What does a soulful felt frog have in common with a vicious, knife-wielding pimp? Besides that my future bride must consent to having portraits of both…

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