Want to be an amateur car chauffeur? Or maybe you want to know how to become a limo driver? If you want the latter, then you’ll probably want to be an amateur car chauffeur first, to gain the experience you need to become the limo driver of your dreams.
For the Amateur Car Chauffeur:
First off, an amateur car chauffeur needs a car to drive. But it can’t just be any car. If you own the car you’re driving, then you’ve already failed in your role as chauffeur. Chauffeurs never drive their own vehicles, so you’ll need to find another person’s car. The easiest, fastest, cheapest way to get someone else’s car is to steal it.
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Author’s Note: This essay received honorable mention in Notre Dame Magazine’s 2013 Young Alumni Essay contest. It was first published at magazine.nd.edu.
I have walked past Geoff nearly every day for a year.
After getting off the bus in Midtown Manhattan, I need to cut two avenues east and seven blocks north. I always choose the path that goes down 42nd Street that passes Geoff.
Forty-second Street at 9 a.m. is one of the black diamonds of New York terrain. Commuters and tourists alike unload from buses at Port Authority — the busiest bus terminal in the world — and mix like oil and water on the streets. They mostly move in one direction, streaming through the city’s concrete arteries towards Times Square, its thumping heart.
I hit my stride as I walk down 42nd, expertly swimming through the crowds, spying then slipping into open pockets of space…
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I don’t watch television on a television (that is so 2008), and as a result I am never bombarded by commercials. But often my friends will pass along a commercial they like. It’s usually ‘feminist’, and it usually leaves a funny taste in my mouth.
Sure, in theory feminist ads rock. Who doesn’t want to be reminded that women are just as capable as men? Why wouldn’t you want to see girls kick ass?
I can’t help but feel as though feminism today is a commodity. A term bought, sold, and traded, all in order to help companies increase their profits.
Take the recent CoverGirl commercial featuring a handful of female celebrities (Ellen DeGeneres, Queen Latifah, etc.) telling viewers what girls can are capable of, from owning a business to playing a professional sport. Or recall the ad put out this past autumn by the shampoo company Pantene, illustrating some…
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The clock marks the flow of time,
A circle of segmented reminders
Seconds become minutes, minutes merge into hours
Every day the sun rises, and usual routines fill up our calendars
Each innocuous day adds up to months, years into decades,
Instance by instance, layer after layer,
Time moves ever so smoothly, a continuous river
Never stopping, never pausing
The lull of seamless sequencing
An unsuspecting mind holds on to an image
And yet a sudden revelation of age
The grey strands that show up one morning from nowhere
A slight paunch that refuses to go anywhere
Eyes that miss the fine print, one fine day
That sudden onset of decay
Age, a discontinuous awareness.
A grudging acceptance
The pushing game of peaks and plateaus
An invitation to mature,
To shake off the illusion of repair
To see through the myth of reversal
To embrace the illusion of renewal.
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Recently a Facebook friend shared a post with me regarding Indie Musicians versus Indie Authors. It appears our culture has a fascination and reverence for the Indie Musician whereas Indie Authors face an immediate stigma. We authors have to continually prove ourselves, whereas musicians don’t (at least not in the same way). My friend seemed perplexed, but to me it’s very simple.
We’re not even going to address the flood of “bad” books. Many writers rush to publish before they’re ready, don’t secure proper editing, etc. But I feel the issue is deeper and it reflects one of the many challenges authors face and always will.
People give automatic respect to a musician because not everyone can play an instrument or sing. Simple. It’s clear that artist can do something many cannot.
As writers, we have an insidious enemy. People…
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“Pop-feminism,” as a movement, valorises feelings above reason, cynicism above hope. It has regressed to a point where anything at all, no matter how irrational or how narcissistic, can be celebrated as ‘feminist’.
Articles such as: I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry, or How Accepting Leggings as Pants Made Me a Better Feminist are shared wide and far on social media as feminist political statements.
Anyone can identify as a “feminist”. Even men who openly admit to domestic violence, such as Hugo Schwyzer. There are no boundaries, no benchmarks and no standards to which feminism will hold itself accountable.
It was not meant to be like this. In 1792, Mary Wollstonecraft publishedThe Vindication of the Rights of Women. Her basic hypothesis was that women are capable of reason; just as men are. Yet because women are denied a…
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It’s easy to get lost in the microcosm of your job and think that the rest of the world should be operating within your work-day paradigms. Today, for instance, I was editing an extremely poorly written blog post, and instead of whistling while I worked and cheerfully improving the piece, my to-author queries just started getting more and more touchy; I was enraged that such a person could exist, someone with such a paltry ability to form a solid sentence! With such little knowledge of punctuation and the difference between an em- and en-dash!
So I had to stop. Put it away. Breathe. Realize that I live in a weird, underground world that is detached from most people’s everyday reality. A world in which editors obsess over language precision and the correctness of a word for hours. A world in which you strive not to betray an author’s trust by…
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She is MS. MARVEL pic.twitter.com/R9Ko3PkAuR
— axel alonso (@axelalonsomarv) February 6, 2014
When I heard that there was going to be a new Muslim Ms. Marvel, I raced to my e-mail and requested it on WCBR. To be honest, I’m not completely sure why. You can find my review of the series here, but, if you’ll forgive some navel gazing, I wanted to take a moment to put down some more personal thoughts.
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It was only a giggle and five words, but it told us our work was cut out for us.
The year was 1974, and my friend, producer Carole Hart, and I were deep into creating a TV special based on our children’s LP that celebrated gender and racial equality. Filled with songs and stories and poems, the project encouraged kids to realize that their dreams were not only boundless, but achievable. Our title for the project: Free to Be…You and Me.
For one scene in the special, we’d decided to interview children about how they envisioned their lives one day. This segment, we felt, would underscore that people had to be taught to be sexist; and that little children had not yet been socialized with gender stereotypes.
“What would you like to be when you grow up?” we asked one precious, curly-headed preschooler, the tape rolling as we waited…
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I just quit my job. Weeks before I knew I was going to quit, I wrote this resignation letter. Then, in the excitement of finally being able to quit, I forgot to bring it with me when I actually did quit. Balls. Not a big deal, though: it was purposely designed to confound, flummox, and bring about the general idea that I was somewhat unstable, thus making my hasty departure a point of concern rather than indignation.
The highfalutin verbiage and esoteric references would have been lost on the audience anyway. I mean, the one guy has had the same handlebar moustache for at least two decades. And last year, he didn’t even tell us when one of our coworkers was murdered by his girlfriend (Sadly, I didn’t make that up. She ran him over with her car. Management said not one word about it, to avoid giving people a day off for…
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The message is so
simple that we don’t
God is love
And as we are
we are Love,
“but, but, but…”
you cry, “so much
horror in the world.
How can we
The seed is planted
in the ground and waits
to come forth
in all its beauty.
Water your seed
with Love and Light
and you will blossom
into a flower of love
in all its beauty
In time more scientists will not want their reputation sullied by association with alarmism:
“The drafts became too alarmist,” said Richard Tol, a Dutch professor of economics at Sussex University in England…
Mr. Tol was part of a team of 70 authors working on revisions to a U.N. report on climate change, to be issued in Japan on March 31. The final draft, which is the copy that Mr. Tol found objectionable, included findings that a warming global temperature will lead to disruption in food supplies and stagnating economies — and that coral reefs and lands in the Arctic may already have suffered irreversible damages…
I can see why Tol has quit. One…
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I can’t tell y’all (that’s Texan for “you all” or “you”) how good it is to be able to go blog camping again.
Three months without a campout was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long!
The extreme speed of Internet Explorer 11, coupled with my reading speed (courtesy of Evelyn Woods back in 1973) and Dragon Naturally Speaking means that I might soon be back visiting 120 blogs each day and leaving LIKEs and comments all over the place.
Goodbye 2014 first quarter, hello 2014 second quarter!
Pelargonium (geranium) from my back yard garden yesterday:
Visit Russel Ray Photos.
Looking for real estate services in San Diego County?
I can highly recommend James Frimmer, Realtor, CDPE
CA BRE #01458572
If you’re looking for a home inspector,
I recommend Russel Ray
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Syrian rebels allowed to attack Latakia from Turkish soil under Turkish air cover. Iran raises Cain in Ankara
Turkey has ratcheted up its intervention in the Syrian war to an unprecedented level, according to exclusive debkafile military and intelligence sources.
For the first time in the three-year conflict the Turkish army is allowing Syrian rebel forces, including the Al-Qaeda-affiliated Nusra Front, passage through Turkish territory for their offensive to capture the northwestern Syrian coastal area where the Assad clan’s lands are situated.
Ankara’s support for the rebels is inclusive: Turkish troops are posted at the roadside with supplies of ammo, fuel, food, mechanical repair crews and medical aid for rebel forces as they head north. The Turkish air force gives them air cover and Turkish agents arm them with surveillance data on…
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–FUN WID US
In today’s life affirming video news, a two-legged dog runs joyously across the sand in his first trip to the beach.
Duncan Lou Who runs like the wind, chasing after a GoPro camera operated by staff from Panda Paws Rescue.
The boxer dog had to have his deformed back legs amputated when he was a puppy, and while he has a wheelchair he prefers to sprint around on his front legs.
When the dog’s inspiring story was an online hit last year, Amanda Giese, of Panda Paws Rescue in Vancouver, Washington state in the US, said: ‘For those who said I was an animal abuser for removing his severely deformed legs to give him a chance, for those who sent me hate mail and doubted this boy, suggesting we should just euthanise him – you are wrong.
‘Thank goodness this baby boy landed in our loving home!’
Cu coatele pe fereastră
Și ascult gândurile
S-a muiat pământul
Și ele ies ca aburii
Din mațele lui
Doi se ceartă
Și-au crăpat capetele
Ce femeie !
Parcă l-ar fi legat cu lanțuri
De țâțele ei
Unii încă sforăie
Și într-un colț
De gândurile mele
Urlând după tine
Chiar și când zâmbesc
Ce femeie !
Parcă m-ai fi legat cu lanțuri
De frumusețea ta
Va ia mama dracu !
Dacă sar acum la voi
Până jos praf vă fac !
We have a fun thing going the last several years of making music videos.
They keep getting more involved as I get better at IMovie but mostly we make the motions up, then randomly drop what we’re doing, flip the iphone around and press play on iTunes. It’s that simple.
I posted more below but here’s a few reasons why we do this:
ONE. It’s silly FUN and a super easy activity to do with your kids.
TWO. My wife is Canadian and her family all lives there, so this is a way to keep them involved.
THREE. Ava helps me lead these kind of songs at Lighthouse Family Retreat, so it’s a learning moment for her, making the BIG picture connection with what her dad does, the content of the…
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There’s a moment toward the end of ‘Stories We Tell’, the Canadian actor Sarah Polley’s hybrid reconstruction-documentary-group therapy session, that I think may stay with me forever. At least I hope it will, so wise is its appreciation of the work of being human, the hope of moving beyond past failures and sorrow, and the invitation each of us receives to make a life as a participant in something much larger than ourselves. Call it the out-working of the redemption of humanity, call it being etched into the Panorama of Being, call it the pursuit of happiness – whatever it is, Sarah Polley’s dad knows what he’s talking about when he says ‘You can’t outrun the mask of comedy.’
An actor with distinguished theatrical form, Michael Polley had reached the beginning of his ninth decade when Sarah decided to make a film about their family experience. The less you know…
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Voting has closed. Price-Waterhouse is counting the ballots. On Sunday night, we will find out who won the 86th annual Academy Awards. On Monday, most people will forget who won, except for the people who make it their business to never forget (Harvey Weinstein, I’m looking at you.) And given the hurt feelings, rivalries, and “How-the-fuck-could-they-ignore-XYZ-but-award-ABC” reactions that will become inevitable over time, I need to remind you guys of something really important:
THE OSCARS DO NOT MATTER.
That’s right. You heard me. I, the person who in fifth grade memorized every winner in just about all the major categories, am here to remind you all that these awards do not matter. Sure, they matter in that it’s fun, and that getting them means you’ll be king/queen for a day, and you have a beautifully designed trophy to put on your mantle. But seriously, whether or not the person…
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For this study, I sampled the listening preferences of about a quarter million listeners that have a zip code associated with their account. update: Listener data is drawn from a variety of music streaming services that are powered by The Echo Nest. I aggregated these listeners into regions (state, regional and all-US). To compare regions I look at the top-N most popular artists based upon listener plays in each region and look for artists that have a substantial change in rank between the two regions. These artists are the artists that define the taste for the region.
As an example let’s compare Tennessee to New England. If we look at the top 100 artists listened to in Tennessee and…
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1. Russia already ‘has’ Crimea in the ways that matter to it.Crimea has considerable autonomy, the Black Sea Fleet presence is guaranteed by treaty until 2042 if I remember correctly, and there is massive political…
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Art by Allie Brosh http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/
WARNING: If you are my mother, you may want to skip this post.
March is next week and I’ve just uncovered a pile of unopened Christmas cards in the kitchen drawer. I had a rough winter and things that I couldn’t face were pushed aside. If I open those cards, I’ll have to acknowledge the relationships they hold. Concede that there are people who care, have to care for them in return.
Life isn’t as easy to shove away as those colourful envelopes.
There have been too many lies in my life. I lie to cover-up my feelings and I lie to make people go away. Eventually the lies become too many; too many to keep track of and too many to care about. The lies are my shield, but they make me tired.
When I get too tired, I just want it all to…
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I was on the phone with a good friend the other day. After covering important topics, like disparaging each other’s mothers and retelling semi-factual tales from our college days, our conversation turned to the mundane.
“So, how’s work going?” he asked.
For those of you who don’t know, I make money by teaching leadership skills and…
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Dear Matt Walsh,
It’s not you. It’s me.
Or was it the other way around? Yeah, that. It’s totally you.
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I realized that outside of time, the Kiev that exists today and the Kiev that existed a thousand years ago is the same.
I also realized the other day that you need a glimmer of happiness inside you to be able to tell sad stories – so that you have perspective.
The act of telling itself is dependent on timing. It’s the wrong time to tell the story I am about to tell you.
Of course, it helps that it isn’t really a story. It’s just another pattern stitched somewhere on the sleeve of the universe.
In this pattern, I am younger and I am a blonde instead of a redhead. There is a hand holding my blond ponytail. That hand is twisted away by another hand.
It’s summer in Kiev, it’s a national holiday (or there was just a concert downtown, or football – right away, there are parts…
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In 1968, Gloria Biggs was the executive women’s editor at TODAY, a Gannett newspaper in Coco, Florida. She wrote a column headlined “To Catch a Woman” for a trade publication in which she provided advice about how women’s newspaper sections could cater more successfully to target readers. In the penultimate paragraph she noted:
I’d like to emphasize that I’m not a feminist. I’m not like that early 20th Century suffragette leader who gave a discouraged follower some advice: “Call on God, my dear! She will help you!” I’m not a feminist. I’m glad to have men run the show.
Years later, when Gloria donated her papers to the Women and Journalism archive at the University of Missouri, she affixed a post-it note to this page that read, “Nancy – I wince when I read the lines above on not being a feminist but then realize that in 1968…
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I was driving innocently today. I had just dropped off my two oldest children in Stafford, VA to go back with their father. I was in my Prius compact car, enjoying the winter wind through my window, while listening to Zak Bagans’ song “In My Dungeon”…
Sidebar (see brilliance below):
I noticed out of the corner of my right eye – an 18 wheeler on the exit ramp coming onto Interstate 95 South.
Have you ever been to Virginia? On Interstate 95? Wacko drivers. Avoid it.
Still enthralled in listening to my favorite song of my very brilliant idol I noticed something was off.
This 18 wheeler had nothing on the back of his bed. His bed was high. He was coming off of the exit ramp at a good 50 MPH. I was in the middle lane. It struck me then like something out of an 80’s sitcom when…
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